Dear, Patrycja...

Dear Patrycja, 05.04.2020, Tyrol

I know I haven't been writing for a long time. But I wanted to let you know,
that I am still here.:) I was burning to tell you, that I am so very proud of you.
You have changed. I know you don't see it. But believe me. You are not the same
person you've been two years ago. You have learned some very important lessons
throughout this time.
First, that communication is key. Even there, where it doesn't seem obvious
or necessary.

Second, it is important to reflect and see things how they are.

Third, people don't have to be right about you. It's essential to evaluate and look
at situations threw your own eyes.

The last, most important one. You have accepted and learned, that you have to do,
what feels right in the particular moment. 

Every so often, you feel, you have led yourself down. You were quite upset,
on your 20th birthday. Suddenly, you felt like all those years got to waste.
But did they really?:)

You are right. You did not start a company by 18. Neither become the first person
to travel the world. You didn't even write a book. Only... That wasn't the point.

With not going straightaway to university, you've made the right choice
for you at that time. Yes, it felt like failure. But with that step, you did yourself
a favor. You took the side path, that didn't have a sign, or wasn't even on the map.

And how did that turn out?

In a stressful exam time, you decided to become the leader of a set design
project. No experience, only interest. And you did it. You plucked up the courage
to volunteer at a zoo. You moved with all your stuff to Amsterdam. Not knowing,
how long that journey is going to last. But you did it. You've worked as a Au pair,
on some film projects, made your own short film. Flew for the first time in a plane
to apply for the Filmschool back in Poland. Learned how to cook and take
responsibility for your actions.

Yes, there have been setbacks. Many times, you questioned your ability
to make the right decisions. Threw all the money away to take a film course,
that wasn't worth it. Well, hang on. Actually it was, because now you've learned,
its not the right path for you.

You took another gap year. You have worked in a ski resort. And now your
here, facing your fears to travel on your own. Tough times my Love. Only I know
you're gonna make it. Look, with 18, you went to Germany on your own, to work
as a waitress. It didn't work and you left after 3 days with 15 euro in your pocket.
You went on a tour with a theater group. Shall I keep going? Haha.

It's really not that bad.

I admire you for the courage, not to stay in a place, that was toxic, with
people that didn't treat you well. The place where you felt so deeply unhappy,
that you lost yourself. Slowly, you have taken the steps to go your own way.  

Do you remember in primary school, when you have looked at the high school
students and thought, by then you are going to have it all figured out? And you're
still not sure where your going.:)

We should not take the straight path, otherwise we might miss the magical
and interesting things that pop on the side ways. The plans, you have made for
yourself, seem to be a huge step now. But they are just a journey. A trip, that
is going to lead to potential friendships, great memories and a new Patrycja.
I can promise you, that all the journeys after this one, are going to be bigger,
greater and make you even stronger.

Do you remember, why you wanted that? The one book, you picked from
a supermarket in Germany, started your story. About a woman, who has worked
as a film producer and suddenly decided to become a ranger in Africa.
You wanted to be as brave as she was. And, you know what. You are! Only,
you didn't have the chance to fully explore it yet. And the second book, that taught you, family can be found in friends and hobbies.

Promise me, that whatever happens, you will not forget about the people,
who hold your back. Those people, you have met in the last years. They chose
to still be a part of your life. They want to help you. So, whenever you feel
like you lost yourself: you're not alone. And I am with you too.

You should not avoid changes as potential failures. Truthfully right now,
it feels like you're still scared to push yourself. Because where you are is good
and you don't know what lies on the other side. I get it. You don't want to go
back to a bad place again.

Whatever you do, however bad things seem, I'm always going to be there.

And as long as I'm there we will find a way to make things good. Because we are
friends and we are in this together.

Any worthwhile path will be full of setbacks and we will benefit from them.
The best lessons that you have learned in your life, have come not from
the successes but from the failures.:) If you don't conquer the fear, you will
stay as you are. And that's fine. But if you do, and take those steps, then even
if you fail, you will become better. That's what matters. You have the potential
to be great. To be really happy and loved.

There is no reason not to pursue that.

So, let's pack our suitcase and go for it!

I will be with you every step of the way. 

PS: One last thing: Trust your decisions. And.. always be yourself.;D

Your dear friend,

Patrycja